I was bought an expensive dress from a store that has couches in the changing rooms.
I’ve tasted the sweet ambrosia of wealth and I want more like a hungry vampire.
It has become clear to me that by seeing how the other half live that I can no longer tolerate my “tankie” existence and I shall henceforth be pulling myself up by my thigh highs and becoming rich.
My plan includes:
- voting (hard)
- virtue signalling to the upper political class
- Smith (I’m not sure who he is but I’ve heard he has all the answers)
- turning a blind eye to the systemic problems in our system because I benefit from it
- reading the economist
Don’t worry I won’t forget you guys while I dine at gastro pubs and judge the proles for sharing the same air I breath.
I’ll even mention you when I’m rubbing elbows with the elites in a few months 🥰
Now begins my upper class crumpet life.
The uber I rode in the other day was a Mercedes Benz A class and now I’m devoting all my energy to setting up a bitcoin mine in rural Uganda (I can use minors as miners).
I always order a “Uber for Ukraine 💛💙” car now so that I can tell my friends over brunch about my activism.
Fuck you for letting me know this exists
Fuck me? Honey get in line 💅
But yeah make sure to take a war uber next time you travel.
I’m starting to think they don’t actually care and are just doing it as a cynical cash grab!
I haven’t ridden an uber in a long time. Is that a real thing?
Every day we stray further from the light of God.
I wish politicians would look out for miners
And not just minors on an island somewhere
Lord, we got folks in the street, ain’t got nothin’ to eat
And the obese milkin’ welfare
People on the street with nothing to eat, so let’s cut food stamps because the homeless are clearly small business owners who have been taxed into poverty by the Democrat party