I was bought an expensive dress from a store that has couches in the changing rooms.

I’ve tasted the sweet ambrosia of wealth and I want more like a hungry vampire.

It has become clear to me that by seeing how the other half live that I can no longer tolerate my “tankie” existence and I shall henceforth be pulling myself up by my thigh highs and becoming rich.

My plan includes:

• voting (hard)
• virtue signalling to the upper political class
• Smith (I’m not sure who he is but I’ve heard he has all the answers)
• turning a blind eye to the systemic problems in our system because I benefit from it
• reading the economist

Don’t worry I won’t forget you guys while I dine at gastro pubs and judge the proles for sharing the same air I breath.

I’ll even mention you when I’m rubbing elbows with the elites in a few months 🥰

Now begins my upper class crumpet life.