Alligators can go years without, I’m guessing it’s a long time

I had one couple who used my address for everything. They ordered a laptop with my email. ITunes, Netflix, disney+. They'd signed up for USPS's informed delivery with my account. I could have stolen so much shit from them over the years. But I always tried to correct the issue.

It finally stopped when they used my email for their wedding registry. Instead of trying once again to do the right thing, I logged into the registry, removed all of their tasteful items, added a faux tigerskin rug (the kind with the whole head at one end), a bunch of this jewel-tone stuffed curvy furniture that would be perfect for a 70s fuckroom, clown-themed carnival games, a popcorn cart, and a shitload of baby items.

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Coast guard also responds to stuff like oil and haz spills and enforces environmental laws to protect endangered marine species. I think they’re pretty OK.

Yeah, I’m pessimistic about the huge shift we’d need to make, especially in America. But so much of that packaging is completely unnecessary. Glass jars instead of plastic tubs or bottles. If you visit some places in the UK, they don’t give you single use plastics in hotels and restaurants, though you can still buy that stuff in stores. Water is bottled in glass. Continental breakfast jams are in tiny glass jars. Some snack packages come in waxed paper bags, like what some tortilla chip brands are packaged in here in the US. Paperboard, cardboard, tins and foil. For toiletries, come countries have stores focused on sustainability where you bring your own reusable containers and they have dispensers for things like shampoo and liquid soap. Like a…soda fountain, but for cleaning products.

People are just so opposed to it here. Like aggressively opposed it it. Like eating yogurt in a glass jar instead of plastic is offensive to them. I don’t get it.

“Sure, sport”. “You’re welcome, tiger.” “No problem, little buddy.”

I keep hoping someone will keep up the stupid pet names with me so I can just make the responses more and more absurd every time, but they generally stop after the first one. I have sooooo many ideas in the tank and I’m just waiting for the excuse to call someone porkchop or pickleface.

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