Maybe he would get the table if he actually said yes? He might need it for heaven to be heaven, and due to him not being able to be honest to God heaven will forever lack him a table.
I posit that people in heaven are engaged in recreational activities the likes of which begger the human imagination.
Getting a perfect 1080 kick flip while shredding an electric guitar is entry level.
I’ve heard some religious folk anecdotally say that being in heaven would be sitting and watching God for eternity (and they’re excited at the idea).
Do I need a billiard table? Fuck yes I do! You go be stared at by your sheeple you omnipotent narcissist asshole, and let me enjoy my afterlife the way I see fit.
There’s a TTRPG called Demon: The Fallen put out by an old gothic horror publisher called White Wolf. In one of the opening stage-setting chapters, it describes the Lucifierian Fall. At one point an angel approaches God, concerned that nascent proto-humanity is failing and invoking God’s Wrath, and councils that God change The Plan. God retorts, “to understand my design you must see things as I do”. The angel returns to God later and insists it would like to do just that. And its never seen or heard from again.
The other angels posit what this could possibly portend. Several assert that the angel was abolished for its hubris. Others suggest that to “see things as I do”, the angel would have been re-incorporated into God’s form, at which point it was functionally no more.
When people talk about “joining God in Heaven”, I can’t help but think of it that way. Losing your personality and your individuality to re-glom with this greater being that you believe is better than you. Its a very bleak way to see yourself and your surroundings. Just waiting on a divine annihilation because you think its better than existence.
You see, God allows Satan to ravage the Earth and either directly cause evil or manipulate others into doing so, and God allows this because otherwise there would be no free will.
And also when you are a good Christian and die and go to heaven, it will be impossible for you to ever feel bad even though many of your friends and family won’t be there, and it will also be impossible for you to commit a sin, but that’s not the same as not having free will as I just previously defined it because… you’re a sinner, you wouldn’t get it.
… But yeah, I’ve heard that a lot from a lot of Christians, though as far as I can recall, the Bible actually describes only the seraphim, the highest class of angels, as actually doing nothing but sitting around god and chanting ‘holy holy holy’ at him, all the time, forever.
I don’t think its ever explicitly described that everyone in heaven does that.
I mean, according to most people, God is perfect and cannot make mistakes. So Satan, sin, and all that other “stuff” means that God knew what he was doing all along; that he manufactured the snake in the garden convincing Eve to talk Adam into eating the “forbidden fruit”, and that God knew Adam was going to lie, and yet still decided to be offended and curse all of man-kind to suffer for eternity because he got his feels hurt.
Free will is the First Lie™ we’ve ever been taught. Biblically or historically, we have all been told what to do, when to do it, and for how long and any hint at dissent would result in loss of life and/or liberty.
Never in our existence has everybody had the free will to do whatever they want. There’s always been an oppressive thumb to hold us down from the start.
This is such a classic God move. He’s a scarecrow in the sky Whom we ourselves have built and Who does nothing for no one and then we die.
I wish I had whatever everyone else has. I want a loving sky wizard Who’s #TeamLars.
Who needs a billiards table when you’ve got these absolute party animals?
And the first beast was like a lion, and the second beast like a calf, and the third beast had a face as a man, and the fourth beast was like a flying eagle.
And the four beasts had each of them six wings about him; and they were full of eyes within: and they rest not day and night, saying, Holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty, which was, and is, and is to come.
And when those beasts give glory and honour and thanks to him that sat on the throne, who liveth for ever and ever,
