I have written in a previous job messages, but it usually went like this:
Hello, [Name]! Hope you’re not too busy! I have questions regarding [whatever the fuck it was on about]
Mostly because I hate getting a message and it is just a wall of text, the greeting allows for a slight breathing room and a chance to spot a typo.
But I never left the other hanging, more than a minute to type the needed thing up. If it was taking longer, I would just send it in chunks.
I skip all formality and just say what’s needed.
That’s fine. To each their own.
I set that as my status in Teams along with a little message “Please don’t just say hi. I might not see your follow up” and checked the box to make it show on chats. It’s definitely helped. Also got someone to complain that I was ignoring them, but they just said “hi” and nothing else so my boss sided with me that they were wasting my time without actually asking a question.
i second that. but in phone calls from colleages i hate the “hey, got a moment?” too. i wouldn’t have answered otherwise, or i might have told you i would call you back in a few minutes within my first line?
“Not anymore.” Click.
I used to work in a office where everyone has a phone on their desk, and the only person who used it was management. Everyone else used the internal slack.
Then one year during a feedback session, someone asked how much the phones cost per month, and a bunch of management defended their use of it. While all the employees called it wasteful spending. Then they tried to call our personal number, and that led to talks of unionizing.
And that’s how we got rid of phones. No union though unfortunately.
I often answer even when I don’t have a moment since I don’t know how urgent it is or if I get something more urgent. So “you got a minute?”
“Not really”
relatable. our department just doen’t have that many urgencies ;)
“Is now a good time?” before a sales pitch
“Is now a good time?”
“I was just watching an ad and thinking how much I wished the ad and I could have a conversation. Because I just don’t spend enough time with advertisements. If only they were interactively read off of a script that responded awkwardly to any of my responses. My brain isn’t quite completely rotted yet, and I almost had a little bit of free time. Also, I was thinking how my cell phone’s battery was far too high, and hoping I could whittle it down somehow. So, yes, now is the perfect time for you to be an interactive ad!”
That’s fine. I don’t see what’s wrong with that.
“Hey, I’d like to talk a bit about Project X. Is now a good time?”
I tell people to ask first before calling, because it’s just polite. otherwise they may not get a response
the only people who can call without notice are my boss and the owner, and even then, if you want me in a good mood and to be prepared for whatever project you’re gonna ask about that I haven’t thought about in months, it’ll go better if you just ask if I have time to talk about xyz
some people don’t get it. and those people get to sit there on the line while I bring up the project files in silence
“can I just tell you what’s going on-”
“no. because then I’ll have questions about your shitty description. so we’re gonna wait here until I have the information open for what you’re asking about so we’re not playing tag later”
this is my status message. usually I don’t have it showing by default, but when somebody does this I toggle it lol
I swore there was a version that was a lot more aggressive and in your face.
This is the one I know. It’s more catchy too https://dontasktoask.com/
That’s the one! @Evotech@lemmyworld.com fyi
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Coworker: Hi
Me: [Waits for more info, nothing comes.]
Me: Hello
Coworker: So
[Several seconds pass]
Coworker: What’s up with that file from yesterday?
Me: [Waits for more info, nothing comes.]
Me: Which file
[No response for literally 10 minutes]
Coworker: The one we sent to client B
Me: [Rather than keep trying to extract information, search through history and find file which was sent to client B yesterday, find nothing obviously wrong with it, and it was nothing to do with me anyway]
Me: [Sends link to file] You mean this one?
[5 minutes pass]
Coworker: NM I figured it out. Thanks!
My other favourite is the coworker who does the same thing but instead of saying hey types “Pssst” and if you don’t respond within about 5 seconds they start sending GIFS of people knocking on doors and stuff.
If anyone says hi to me I literally just ignore them until they say something actionable.
It’s great because if they ever complain about it I can just say, oh I was busy so didn’t immediately follow up and they never ever specified what they wanted.
I’ve thankfully never experienced that last one, but that is heinous. I would actually engage to tell them not to do that.
Don’t do that.
This is set as a permanent status message on my Teams at work
The solution to this is to not reply to them.
They will either give you the information you need (and potentially learn their lesson for next time), or they’ll get tired of waiting and ask someone else.
100% this. I got this dude who always messages me “hi” when he needs something but doesn’t bother to include what the fuck he needs. I told him, politely, once you can just include everything up front at once and I’ll answer as soon as I can. I just won’t respond to just “hi”. Like fucking hi yourself.
I do love being in IT sometimes. No ticket? Then the problem doesn’t exist
When I share that I ignore people who messages with only a “hi”, certain people get real upset. I used to try to be considerate like, “Oh I need to change my communication style” but after a while, I realized every person who gets upset by it was a egotistical asshole in the first place who thinks everyone should wait for them.
So yeah, say what you want to say. I’m not here for you.
Works every time
So passive aggressive
Just reply hi
How often does it really happen
No.
Children.
No it’s a waste of my time. And it happens constantly
I’ve toyed with this a few ways, and my favorite response is waiting 4 hours and replying “hi!” That might mean the next day. Then when they ask the question, wait a couple more hours at least to reply. They’ve set the pace for the conversation this way, and it’s going to be glacial. (Folks who have no urgency get no urgency)
If they ask the right way, I am pretty quick. (Polite people get polite responses)
If it’s something that can wait 20 minutes, I typically wait 20 minutes. (I am a busy person) (Protip: this makes bosses and coworkers think you’re not just fucking around all day, and they respect you more)
Train people using rules, even if they are unspoken, be consistent and it’ll work.
Nah, hi back just before you knock off. As in send hi, log out, go home.
Can I ask you a question?
Apparently.
Calls you immediately despite your status being “in call”
I get this from colleagues in a specific areZA of the world.
You get one a day, try again tomorrow
I don’t know, can you?
I notice there are several similar domains by now. I know a few people who have this is the forever status message in the work messaging tool
I looked at the other ones; I think that nohello.club might be a bit more useful, in a catching-flies-with-honey kinda way.
Imagine calling someone on the phone, going hello! then putting them on hold…
My sister actually does this. I feel like it should be some sort of prank or social experiment, but I fear it’s not.
On my way home tonight, sitting at a red light I noticed that my bosses boss sent me “hi, can you talk?”
I spent the next 20 minutes of the ride home trying to think of anything that I said to anybody that could have been misconstrued into God knows what. I get home and reply “I can now.”
It was a question someone had about our specific uniforms (scrubs) and under which heading I was able to order them under.
“Hi, can you talk? I have a question about your uniform.” Would have been so much kinder lol.
I swear bosses do this intentionally. It gets brought up so often in various places that it would be impossible not to understand the effect it has on their employees, and they get off on it.
The true appropriate response, unless you’re being paid to be on call, is to wait until you clock in the next day, THEN respond.
If you’re not being paid to work, why do it?
I got in trouble at work for being “unavailable” for 3 days while my coworkers were working on something important without me because I never responded to the one word message “Hey”.
I was 100% WFH, for a company in California, long before Covid.
We rented an oceanfront condo for a week from a friend, it was a good deal (they were unbooked so they figured a discount for a known user is better the no booking)
I went down there and worked from the condo from 8-6. Solid internet, attended all meetings. My boss got a case of the ass that I was “taking a vacation” and started trying to hop into support calls before I could so he could write me up for taking a vacation without requesting it.
I literally hit every support message within 30 seconds, he spent his whole day trying to do my job for me. By the end of the day, he had the gall to say I wasn’t answering messages quickly enough. I demanded he show me what message he was talking about. Over a whole day of work, there was one message that went unanswered for 45 seconds because I was already working with two separate people. I sent him my chat logs of me working with the other people, and he bitched that I didn’t tell them to wait for 45 seconds.
When I quit, he said, “I have to say I didn’t see it coming, you were always so dedicated, I’m really sorry to see you go, no chance that I could change your mind? Is it salary?” “nope, I was summoned from some people I used to work for, and they’re ready for me”
I hate how dysfunctional so many people are on communication and remote work.
Proper format:
Hola,
X is Y and we need Z. Did you fuck with the server?
…new server, who dis??
Luke, I am your father.
If I’m feeling nice, I reply to those with " please lead with your question"
If not, I don’t reply.
My god it’s been annoying people for 16 years and we still haven’t come up with a solution. As a species we are doomed. That’s why the aliens haven’t contacted us, would be too annoying.
I’ve done this out of habit trying to be friendly. I’m starting to see the error of my ways. A point has been made.
Shift+Enter or Ctrl+Enter (depending on the platform) will usually insert a line break. You can divide your greeting from the content of the message without actually sending two messages.
Personally, I don’t care if it’s one message or two. The thing that annoys me is people who send a greeting and then wait for a response before telling me what they actually want. If someone sends “hi” and then immediately starts typing their actual question, that’s fine for me, especially on platforms with a typing indicator.
You’re welcome to start with “Hi”, “Hello” or even “Greetings, my lord” but please don’t just leave it at that. Follow up with your actual question immediately so the recipient knows what you need and if it’s urgent.
You can say it as a polite prelude…it just has to be an immediate part of the message. Not just “hi” then waiting for a response. The latter pisses everyone off.
I just write hi or good morning or whatever, follow it by an empty line, and then my question. In the same message.
This probably isn’t an audience that needs to hear this - but you can add a line break with ALT+Enter in Teams.
Getting a flood of short messages instead of 2 paragraphs drives me crazy.
I thought it was ctrl + enter but to be fair most things are muscle memory at this point so I don’t actually remember things, I just do them
I always put “Hi” and the topic in the first line so they have a chance to estimate what it’s about from the little preview blurb and decide whether to pivot their headspace that way now, later or not at all
I’m the opposite … I put my request in first and then do my pleasantries:
“could you look into this for me?”
“btw good morning”
