I was bought an expensive dress from a store that has couches in the changing rooms.
I’ve tasted the sweet ambrosia of wealth and I want more like a hungry vampire.
It has become clear to me that by seeing how the other half live that I can no longer tolerate my “tankie” existence and I shall henceforth be pulling myself up by my thigh highs and becoming rich.
My plan includes:
- voting (hard)
- virtue signalling to the upper political class
- Smith (I’m not sure who he is but I’ve heard he has all the answers)
- turning a blind eye to the systemic problems in our system because I benefit from it
- reading the economist
Don’t worry I won’t forget you guys while I dine at gastro pubs and judge the proles for sharing the same air I breath.
I’ll even mention you when I’m rubbing elbows with the elites in a few months 🥰
Now begins my upper class crumpet life.
Rocking up to the posh people looking like
before ordering the fwa grass (idk how to spell it and idc enough to look it up, the thing where they’re really mean to geese to make it)
Good choice. You wouldn’t want to embarras yourself by ordering caviar now that China has developed a way of farming it sustainably and cheaply.
New York Times reporters falling over themselves to write the article “Chinese women are eating non-sustainably sourced and overpriced caviar to protest inequality” after reading your comment.
NYT writer tapping their pencil rapidly against the paper and clutching their head trying to think of a tasteful way to compare caviar to Chinese womens’ eggs so they can make a quippy reference to China’s birthrate.
(They can’t think of a tasteful way, but they do it anyway)
Takes another sip of their juicero smoothie
Maybe I can find inspiration from my China mood board 💡
writes about how climate change isn’t real
It’s spelt “Phwoar Gwah” after the sound bri’ish people make when they first taste it.
this is true
Luv me fois gras
Luv me Blossom Hill
Luv me baileys
Ate the proles (not classist just don’t like em)
Ate inheritance tax
Ate social security nets
Simple as
Faux Grass
It’s actually synthetic weed in a pâté