JPMorganChase CEO Jamie Dimon said during a Wednesday town hall he didn’t care how many employees signed a petition to bring back hybrid work. The company in mid-January announced a 100% return-to-office mandate, which angered many employees, who argue the move “disproportionately” pushed out women, caregivers, senior employees, and employees with disabilities.

  • JackbyDev@programming.dev
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    5 hours ago

    I genuinely fucking hate this shit. Like, for real. These fuckers want everyone in the office for the most bullshit reasons. They all have their reasons and they’re all bullshit. One I heard recently was “innovation happens in the office.” Innovation happens by ignoring the innovations that allow us to work remotely? By insisting we all waste massive amounts of time commuting? By wasting money renting huge office buildings in prime real estate locations?

    • JcbAzPx@lemmy.world
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      5 hours ago

      Thing is, corporate ownership also owns a lot of commercial real estate. This push is entirely about saving that investment.

      • JackbyDev@programming.dev
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        4 hours ago

        For companies like this, that’s true, but I see this push from tons of companies who don’t have a stake in that and just rent their office. Maybe it’s about saving the value on long term leases for them?

        • CaptSpify@lemmy.today
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          3 hours ago

          Another couple of reasons:

          A) It gets people to quit, so the company doesn’t have to fire them

          B) It selects for those who are loyal, allowing them to filter out those that are unwilling to be pushed around

          • Fluke@lemm.ee
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            2 hours ago

            You’re missing the “management’s only purpose is to pressure people to work, if people do that at home without management…”

  • bokherif@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    CEOs and upper management people are acting like children these days. They just want to implement things they don’t understand the consequences of, yet when they get any kind of resistance they lose their shit. I’m just dumbfounded by this behavior because it makes me wonder what could happen if these people were replaced with people who actually care about the work itself and the quality of it. Y’know, the whole reason we have workplaces.

    • Prehensile_cloaca @lemm.ee
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      It’s because they’ve been too insulated from the violence that used to be incumbent in the wake of such asinine and harmful labor decisions. The decorum of the last 50 years has led these Boomers to think they are invulnerable.

    • stoly@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Shareholder revolt, honestly. The rich shareholders benefit from these sorts of idiots, at least in the short term.

  • GoofSchmoofer@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    I keep wondering how much more CEOs, billionaires and massive corporations (along with the current administration) can push the American people before there is a backlash?

    Right now Americans are like domestic violence victims and addicts

    “Jamie is a good person, it was my fault for not coming back to the office that made things worse.”

    “Just one more subscription, I need to watch my shows!, I promise I’ll quite after this season!”

    When and what is the tipping point where people just say “Fuck it, I’m done.” ?

  • jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works
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    2 days ago

    I’ve had it with this stuff,” Dimon said during the town hall, according to Barron’s. “I’ve been working seven days a goddamn week since COVID, and I come in, and—where is everybody else?

    Let me make sure I understand this. You’re the chief executive of the world’s largest bank. You have vast resources and an army of other executives at your disposal. What exactly is so urgent that you have to work 7 days a week and why is that anyone else’s problem?

    Wall Street treats Jamie Dimon like he’s some sort of guru but it sounds to me like he’s an fucking idiot whiney baby who doesn’t manage his time wisely or recognize that he got to where he is on the backs of his employees.

    • JackbyDev@programming.dev
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      5 hours ago

      Genuinely, like, if this is true and not posturing, hire help. Delegate. Something! Don’t take out your frustration about your workload on me.

    • gramie@lemmy.ca
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      Even if he works twice as much as one of his employees, which I do not concede, he is being paid 500 or 1,000 times as much. For that much money, I would expect nothing less than 24/7.

    • Blue_Morpho@lemmy.world
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      “I’ve been working seven days a goddamn week since COVID, and I come in, and—where is everybody else?

      That’s a lie just like Elon Musk used to regularly tell. Then in the next interview Elon would talk about how he never missed any of his kid’s soccer games.

      Dimon has 3 daughters. He hasn’t been working 7 days a week. He probably did it once and takes a few phone calls on the weekend and considers that “working 7 days”.

      • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.netOP
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        1 day ago

        I work with a “high powered CEO”. These parasites treat golfing, going to dinner, flying on private jets as “working”.

        • Cataphract@lemmy.ml
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          Why? I’ve had many choices that would’ve taken me down the “American Business person path of financial success!” There’s still options and temptations yearly to go down that would comfortably make me not worry about financial stress, but eventually someone always gets screwed over.

          Just asking as someone who pushed that all away and I don’t seem to regret it, what keeps you going everyday to show up and work for them? My friends I know have to if they’re going to maintain their lifestyle, kinda a perpetual cycle and they know nothing else so it’s way too scary of a jump.

    • SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      2 days ago

      Jamie Dimon is a moronic, completely useless excuse for a human. Maybe he works seven days a week because his overwhelming incompetence means it takes him that long to complete what a competent individual would do in one or two days?

      • WhatYouNeed@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        Or maybe his partner and family don’t want him around (or vice versa) and banish him to the office.

        Either way, he is a very toxic person to be around.

    • heavy@sh.itjust.works
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      2 days ago

      Yeah, a lot of this RTO business is some misguided perception that the wealthy work the hardest, and are thusly disproportionately compensated. They don’t realize how hard everyone around them needs to work to keep things moving and give them their lifestyle.

      The workplace can feel like a prison for most workers trying to do their job, even if it’s what they like to do. For these CEOs and people at the top, it’s a space they built for themselves, of course they want to go to the office.

  • WatDabney@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    I think this is only partly about the need to keep the value of commercial real estate inflated.

    I think there’s a more fundamental psychological motivation.

    The illusion that the C-suite actually contributes value sufficient to arguably justify their obscene salaries depends in large part on them sitting in offices at the top of a building full of workers.

    If the building is not full of workers, that threatens the illusion.

    • vividspecter@lemm.ee
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      2 days ago

      Also, people with power often like to harm people that are less fortunate because they believe they deserve it: “If they were good people, they wouldn’t need to work for a living, because they’d be rich. Since they’re not rich, they must be bad people.”

      • ivanafterall ☑️@lemmy.world
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        I was legitimately shocked at the cartoonishly villainous shit I heard in my brief time at an investment firm. I swear to God this is a verbatim quote from a middle-aged, white, millionaire, Mormon investment adviser:

        “There’s no excuse for any American not to be a millionaire, if they’d just stop buying their cigarettes and their dope for a few weeks.”

        Hand to God. It’s so absurd that it sounds like a, “That man’s name was Albert Einstein. And then they all clapped.”-type story, but that place was fucking wild.

        • grue@lemmy.world
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          “There’s no excuse for any American not to be a millionaire, if they’d just stop buying their cigarettes and their dope for a few weeks.”

          To be fair, the first half of that is true. What’s wrong is the victim-blaming nonsense, failing to correctly attribute the reason to wages’ failure to keep up with worker productivity.

    • Stern@lemmy.world
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      He needs to feel like a big man with a big pp. The way you do that is when someone is setting up an appointment for you and says “Is 3 o’clock okay?” You say, “No, I have a meeting.” That shows them that you are a big man with big important business meetings to attend with your fancy briefcase. You can’t take your fancy briefcase to your big important business meeting on zoom. Well, you can, but it loses the luster. And thus we have why so many CEO’s want RTO.

      Conversely, the middle management wants it because they don’t want to be exposed as useless.

  • Raiderkev@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Hey Jaime, you wouldn’t have to have a giant portfolio full of office buildings by chance, would you?

    • Tramort@programming.dev
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      2 days ago

      Tell me JP Morgan is underwater on commercial real estate without telling me JP Morgan is underwater on commercial real estate

      • slaacaa@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        This is the true answer. Yes, there is some boomer powerplay aspect, but he is not stupid, he’s all about making more money.

        His rich and powerful investor “friends” are bleeding money on commercial real estate (and maybe on related investments like downtown coffee shops), they put a lot of pressure on him. I go even further, it is not a coincidence that more companies started pushing for full time RTO at the same time, this is orchestrated or at least encouraged from behind the scenes by the elite, probably also involving some politicians (who are also neck deep in commercial RE).

        Still, it is absolutely stupid and short sighted. I live close to my office, so I like to go in a few times a week, but I would never want to be there full time again.

    • YarHarSuperstar@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      That phrase is about to be much more literal if these people get their way

      Edit: BTW I love your username, were you inspired by Semi Hemi Lemmygod? They’re both hilarious. I think the art of choosing a good name for something is underappreciated.

  • Nollij@sopuli.xyz
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    2 days ago

    If you have a Chase account, the best time to close it was 20 years ago.

    The second best time is right this very second.

    Even ignoring this story, with the collapse of the CFPB, you are about to get screwed harder than you can even imagine.

  • skaarl@feddit.nl
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    2 days ago

    Democracy! (but not in the workplace where you spend most of your awake time)

  • Etterra
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    2 days ago

    Time for them all to get new jobs with a competitor. Be sure to get remote work guaranteed in writing.