Not even pineapple could save that.
Hello? I would like to report a crime against humanity.
This is not pizza.
I’m the one to do gross shit like dip a dill pickle in mayonnaise at 3am, and even this looks objectively horrifying to me
there’s no excuse for making a bad pizza. It’s pizza, it’s very hard to do it wrong
Misc toppings on bread dough with some kind of cheese is probably thousands of years old.
Is this town filled with broke stoners or something?
Dunno about this particular area of PA, but the areas I am familiar with… the answer is meth.
Broke stoners in rural Pennsylvania? Say it ain’t so!
Lol I can’t believe this is real. How terrible must food be in your city for this to be successful? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Altoona-style_pizza
While originally topped with Velveeta, Altoona-style pizza is popularly topped with yellow processed cheese known as American cheese. The yellow squares of American cheese are a staple of this dish, used instead of the mozzarella or provolone common to other styles of pizza.
Everything about that paragraph makes me feel ill.
Mozzarella is nice though, just that it’s mentioned makes me feel a bit better. As if the world isn’t broken completely.
Following the destruction of the hotel in 2013 by fire, other local restaurants began serving Altoona-style pizza
It could have died there, but they had to do this
Fixed that for Wikipedia:
American cheese on pizza? that’s the kind of thing I would do if I’m down to the last two items in the kitchen, and feel too lazy to go shopping, but still would hate it
That’s the type of thing you make if you have nothing else in the fridge and you can’t go out to get anything else. And you’d keep that shit quiet and never admit to it to anyone.
cook with it? yeah
call it pizza? nope
I’m Austrian and I feel betrayed
I’m italian, my day is ruined.
Yeah, it’s not a great town
I’d hork down a barrel of sketchy dicks before I’d let this abomination inside of me.
I’m not trying to judge, but your bar for that might be slightly too low.
I’d wolf down a barrel of sloppy dicks. Also, I don’t really care for this pizza
Honestly this doesn’t sound like it would taste all that bad. Thick crust, tomato sauce, green bell pepper, fried salami, and Velveeta cheese? That’s gonna be pretty tasty. Calling it pizza might be the biggest issue, maybe something like open faced pepper sandwich would be better.
I bet you also think health insurance CEOs are hard working, upstanding members of the community.
Calling Velveeta “cheese” is pretty bad
Urgh, here in Canada they tried to trick us with “delux” kraft dinner. Velveeta is so bad that I avoid name brand KD to this day due to one time over a decade ago. How in the artificial fuck do americans eat that stuff?
Stop
I mean, you just described a thick crust hot pocket. Which isn’t bad. It ain’t good, but it ain’t bad.
Pretty much, any combination of bread, cheese, and tomato sauce is edible. The salami is just there for texture
